On Friday night, our process of ferberizing Kacey began. I was nervous to say the least. The idea that I just have to listen to Kacey cry and not hold her in my arms makes me sick to my stomach. I've heard that on the first night, some babies cry for hours. The mere thought makes my heart ache. I questioned if we were making the right choice for our daughter, but I continued to remind myself that on several occasions she had cried for period of time in the car when one of us was driving and were unable to do anything to console her at the time. I had to remind myself that we were doing this for all of us.
So, we gave her a bath and put her in her pajamas. Then Timmy took her into her nursery, turned the lights off except for her night light, swaddled her and gave her a bottle while listening to some calming lullabies. Then he laid her down, said goodnight and the waiting began. By the time he stepped out of the room, the crying had begun. We talked about what we were going to have for dinner and before I knew it, the first 3 minutes had passed. I went in, gave her her pacifier, soothed her by rubbing her belly and telling her we loved her and it was time for sleep now. Then I walked out. The crying continued. The next 5 minutes passed a bit more slowly as her crying showed no end in sight. After that passed, Tim went in and repeated what I had done previously and left her nursery. And the crying continued. This was getting harder. I had no idea how long it was going to last and now I had to wait 10 long minutes to go and soothe her again. Was i going to be able to do this? As the minutes ticked away, I tried to do what I could not to watch the clock, but it was hard. 7 minutes passed, then 8, then 9 and then something happened.
The crying stopped.
Just as I was getting ready to go in and comfort her again (while trying not to curse the evil Dr. Ferber under my breath), she fell asleep. 17 minuted has passed since Tim first laid her down. I was in awe. She was asleep in her crib and she did it on her own. While listening to her cry wasn't the easiest thing in the world, the intervals made it easier and it took MUCH less time for her to fall asleep then I had anticipated. It's only 8:45.
9:17- She's awake again. The crying starts.
9:20- Console and comfort.
9:21- Asleep.
That time it only took 4 minutes. She's getting better at this already!
3:14- Awake and crying (Yep, that's 6 hours without a peep!)
3:17- Console and comfort.
3:18- Asleep.
4 minutes again. Unbelievable...
6:08- Awake, but hungry.
6:30- Fed and back in her crib fed and awake.
6:31- Asleep.
She slept for another hour before waking up for the day. And this is the best part, she was full of smiles and seemed so well rested. It was like she knew how proud we were of her and she was proud of herself too. I'm in love and his name is Richard Ferber. Next up: Our Ferber Diary- Night 2: Can the magic continue? Stay tuned...
Showing posts with label crib sleeping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crib sleeping. Show all posts
Monday, February 4, 2008
Friday, February 1, 2008
Our Ferber Diary Part I- Who is this Ferber guy and what can he do for me?
Recently we decided that it was officially time for Kacey to start sleeping in her own room in her crib. While we didn't mind having her in our room, she had seriously outgrown her bassinet and Timmy really didn't think having her sleep in her car seat every night was the best solution (can you believe him? :-)
Well, I've always described Kacey as a great sleeper since she's been sleeping through the night since before she was 6 weeks old. She has always needed to be rocked to sleep though, either in our arms or pushed back and forth in her stroller. Sometimes this process could take more than an hour. And not only was this true for nighttime, but daytime naps as well. We spent a lot of time on this, but because she slept so well once we could get her to sleep, we didn't have too much to complain about.
For the past week, we've been trying to get her to sleep in her crib and have her continue to sleep through the night there. If we could get her into a deep sleep by rocking her in our arms, we could put her down and she could go several hours (3-4) before waking up and screaming inconsolably. If we tried to put her down too early, this screaming would start as soon as she hit the crib. The only solution was to just pick her up and bring her into bed with us. All of a sudden, at 4 months old, we were co-sleeping again. All in all, the situation wasn't working.
We made the somewhat controversial and difficult decision to "ferberize" Kacey. Ferberizing is a sleep training method developed by Dr. Richard Ferber, Director of Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children's Hospital here in Boston. I purchased and began reading Dr. Ferber's book Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems and was amazed to find that it could have been written about our little Kacey and her sleep habits. We were certainly desperate to find a way to get her to sleep happily in her crib at night and we just were not able to figure out how to do it on our own. And here came Dr. Ferber with simple ideas to solve our problems. Could this by too good to be true?
Essentially, Dr. Ferber emphasizes a "cry and console" or "progressive waiting" mentality in order to break the sleep associations that are causing your child's sleep problems. The goal is not to have your baby cry until they fall asleep from pure exhaustion (which I believe is cruel and unnecessary) , but rather to teach them to fall asleep under the same circumstances in which they will wake up to during the night. If your baby is used to being rocked to sleep in your arms (as Kacey was), waking up in a strange place like a crib without being held can be a jarring and scary experience, causing inconsolable crying until they are "reunited" with the circumstances under which they fell asleep. Dr. Ferber's method can also be used to break the habit of multiple night feedings, needing a pacifier to sleep, or co-sleeping, to name a few.
Parents are to begin with a happy bedtime routine centered in the room where the child will be sleeping for the night. Then you lay them down in their crib drowsy, but awake, say goodnight, rub their belly (etc) and leave the room. Since this will be a departure from what they are used to, they will undoubtedly begin crying for you to return and pick them up. At increasing intervals of time, you are to enter the baby's room, reassure them that all will be fine, rub their belly, tell them you love them, and leave within 1 or 2 minutes while they are still awake. On the first night of ferberizing, you go in and check on the baby 3 minutes after they first start crying, 5 minutes after that if the crying has continued, and then every 10 minutes your baby cries until they fall asleep.
It's important, as in our case, not to pick up the baby, but only soothe them while they lay in the crib because you don't want to teach them that if they cry for a certain amount of time, you will come in and pick them up. Then you will be doing more harm than good. Ferber lays out a 7 night plan where you increase the length of your "response time" each night (e.g. On night 2, the intervals change to 5, 10, and 12 minutes and on night 7, they are 20, 25 and 30 minutes). Get the gist? Stay tuned for Part II: Kacey Meets Dr. Ferber...
Well, I've always described Kacey as a great sleeper since she's been sleeping through the night since before she was 6 weeks old. She has always needed to be rocked to sleep though, either in our arms or pushed back and forth in her stroller. Sometimes this process could take more than an hour. And not only was this true for nighttime, but daytime naps as well. We spent a lot of time on this, but because she slept so well once we could get her to sleep, we didn't have too much to complain about.
For the past week, we've been trying to get her to sleep in her crib and have her continue to sleep through the night there. If we could get her into a deep sleep by rocking her in our arms, we could put her down and she could go several hours (3-4) before waking up and screaming inconsolably. If we tried to put her down too early, this screaming would start as soon as she hit the crib. The only solution was to just pick her up and bring her into bed with us. All of a sudden, at 4 months old, we were co-sleeping again. All in all, the situation wasn't working.
We made the somewhat controversial and difficult decision to "ferberize" Kacey. Ferberizing is a sleep training method developed by Dr. Richard Ferber, Director of Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children's Hospital here in Boston. I purchased and began reading Dr. Ferber's book Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems and was amazed to find that it could have been written about our little Kacey and her sleep habits. We were certainly desperate to find a way to get her to sleep happily in her crib at night and we just were not able to figure out how to do it on our own. And here came Dr. Ferber with simple ideas to solve our problems. Could this by too good to be true?
Essentially, Dr. Ferber emphasizes a "cry and console" or "progressive waiting" mentality in order to break the sleep associations that are causing your child's sleep problems. The goal is not to have your baby cry until they fall asleep from pure exhaustion (which I believe is cruel and unnecessary) , but rather to teach them to fall asleep under the same circumstances in which they will wake up to during the night. If your baby is used to being rocked to sleep in your arms (as Kacey was), waking up in a strange place like a crib without being held can be a jarring and scary experience, causing inconsolable crying until they are "reunited" with the circumstances under which they fell asleep. Dr. Ferber's method can also be used to break the habit of multiple night feedings, needing a pacifier to sleep, or co-sleeping, to name a few.
Parents are to begin with a happy bedtime routine centered in the room where the child will be sleeping for the night. Then you lay them down in their crib drowsy, but awake, say goodnight, rub their belly (etc) and leave the room. Since this will be a departure from what they are used to, they will undoubtedly begin crying for you to return and pick them up. At increasing intervals of time, you are to enter the baby's room, reassure them that all will be fine, rub their belly, tell them you love them, and leave within 1 or 2 minutes while they are still awake. On the first night of ferberizing, you go in and check on the baby 3 minutes after they first start crying, 5 minutes after that if the crying has continued, and then every 10 minutes your baby cries until they fall asleep.
It's important, as in our case, not to pick up the baby, but only soothe them while they lay in the crib because you don't want to teach them that if they cry for a certain amount of time, you will come in and pick them up. Then you will be doing more harm than good. Ferber lays out a 7 night plan where you increase the length of your "response time" each night (e.g. On night 2, the intervals change to 5, 10, and 12 minutes and on night 7, they are 20, 25 and 30 minutes). Get the gist? Stay tuned for Part II: Kacey Meets Dr. Ferber...
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